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so, tumblr is trying to kill itself and I need a new place to yap, and what better place than here! i am too young to remember live journal, but i’ve always loved the feel of old internet from the time of live journal so although this site feels a little foreign to me, i like the vibes here.
you can call me jae!! i’m a 20 y/o plural system. our collective pronouns are it/he/xe. we are collectively aroace and trans. we are a writer and digital artist. our muse at the moment is rock lee from naruto, he is incredibly important to us and we consider him our partner in a ficto/yumeship kind of way.
we write fanfic on ao3 at the username theycallmeyn (active). we also have a pillowfort (active) & a tumblr (mainly inactive).
some of our interests & fandoms are: naruto, my hero academia, homestuck, creepypasta, mcyt, music (skz is our fav at the moment), teen titans, lazy town, fandom history & culture, fear & hunger, animals (dogs, cats, and sea creatures!), animanga, mlp, dungeon meshi, sander sides, art, minecraft, visual novels + so much more!
i don’t know what i really want to post on here, a mix of my random thoughts, my writing, and definitely posts about my lee, but generally anything I feel like posting will go here.
never be afraid to reach out, comments & messages are always welcome and we'd love to yap your ear off if given the chance. also feel free to ask for our discord if you wanna chat there.
associations...
Mar. 18th, 2026 01:05 pmeveryone in our system has different things associated with them, and sometimes it's hard to figure out what is associated with who and what is associated with just one of us. we've been trying to find a more collective identity for ourselves but that also comes with the issue of trying to understand where things we associate with ourselves starts and with which parts it ends. a really interesting way that i've found us figuring this out is by seeing ourselves collectively as a shapeshifter and then just recognizing which form each of us inhabit the most.
i notice our host has taken an association with cheetahs in a strange way. i'm not sure what that means to them as i am not them, but it is something i've noticed. i myself have noticed i have a strong affinity for wolves and dogs.
there's obviously a lot of overlap and muddy-ness between us, that's just how it's always been for us, so sometimes i do feel more of an affinity for things that aren't "my things" but noticing what things are "my things" vs others things, vs what our true collective things are is interesting and very beneficial to us.
it gives me a sense of self to have things that are just mine and idk it makes me feel better seeing myself separately from the others. i'm still us, in the same way we are all us, but that doesn't take away that i am me too.
anyways, i like wolves, i wish i could be a wolf. i feel like if i was a wolf like would definitely improve 10 folds.
i notice our host has taken an association with cheetahs in a strange way. i'm not sure what that means to them as i am not them, but it is something i've noticed. i myself have noticed i have a strong affinity for wolves and dogs.
there's obviously a lot of overlap and muddy-ness between us, that's just how it's always been for us, so sometimes i do feel more of an affinity for things that aren't "my things" but noticing what things are "my things" vs others things, vs what our true collective things are is interesting and very beneficial to us.
it gives me a sense of self to have things that are just mine and idk it makes me feel better seeing myself separately from the others. i'm still us, in the same way we are all us, but that doesn't take away that i am me too.
anyways, i like wolves, i wish i could be a wolf. i feel like if i was a wolf like would definitely improve 10 folds.
i'm at totally normal guy. my hobbies include drawing rock lee, thinking about rock lee, adding more pictures to my rock lee collection, and writing fan fiction about rock lee. and sure sometimes i see a picture of rock lee and get an intense pain in my chest from how much i love him but that's a totally normal thing that totally normal guys go through. :)
sorry for my first official post being a vent post but i've just been having such a rough day :(
i had a doctors appointment today and even though it went just fine i was super anxious during it and felt so dissociated afterwards. i took a nap after just to see if i could kick the feeling of bleh but i still just feel so bad. super anxious and irritable and just drained. we've got stuff we're supposed to do today but i am not looking forward to it. it just feels like everything is going to go wrong >~<
i wish i could think of something to do to make us feel better but since i feel so drained nothing sounds enjoyable to do that would normally make us feel better. hopping this feeling goes away on its own or at least we can have a better day tomorrow.
it probably isn't helping our mood that we barley slept last night, but that was something else the nap was supposed to fix. i wish there was just a reset button that could fix our mood. we'd probably be hitting it all the time but at least it would fix things for a little while. </3
i had a doctors appointment today and even though it went just fine i was super anxious during it and felt so dissociated afterwards. i took a nap after just to see if i could kick the feeling of bleh but i still just feel so bad. super anxious and irritable and just drained. we've got stuff we're supposed to do today but i am not looking forward to it. it just feels like everything is going to go wrong >~<
i wish i could think of something to do to make us feel better but since i feel so drained nothing sounds enjoyable to do that would normally make us feel better. hopping this feeling goes away on its own or at least we can have a better day tomorrow.
it probably isn't helping our mood that we barley slept last night, but that was something else the nap was supposed to fix. i wish there was just a reset button that could fix our mood. we'd probably be hitting it all the time but at least it would fix things for a little while. </3
